It doesn’t happen all of a sudden, not a flip of a switch and not on the night of your 30th birthday! Instead, it just slowly creeps on you like a giant iceberg melting at a very low temperature. Actually, you mock the transition and claim it invalid on the week of your birthday as you keep checking your face that still hasn’t developed any lines, your breasts that are still defying gravity and your ability to take the stairs three at a time without gasping for air. You don’t care that you lost that innocent look of your early twenties, you’re enjoying your more “mature” big girl status…
It just happens bit by bit! You don’t even notice it at first! Starts with small different preferences (I will take the aisle seat instead of the window seat, I will go with the comfortable shoes instead of the 3-inch heels, I will have the low fat yogurt instead of that yummy pastry… I don’t want the T-shirt with attitude, I will buy the shirt with stripes that match, I’m not interested in an outing with 25 people 18 of which I haven’t met, I prefer a cozy coffee with 3 good ones! & somehow you’re convincing yourself that these are the right, wiser, healthier and more mature choices!
Then certain music becomes too loud, certain movies become too stupid and certain places become too crowded for a nice conversation!
Before you know it, you became that one dull person in her thirties with the safe hair do and sport-chick outfit that has hundreds of 80s & 90s music on her iPod that she still has them since Napster days, the one that scuffs at the energy and greenness of the fresh graduates and doubts their ability to make something out of themselves.
You become that person that you’ve always mocked, hated, & knew in your guts that you will never be… you can never become! Somehow in your pursuit of finding the best version of yourself, you became this lousy knock off of what was supposed to be good, resulting in a mediucor sorry execuse of a person who once was someone.
Today, less than a week of my 33 birthday, I feel old, wasted, tired and totally worn out. I feel I’m in my thirties.
February 9, 2012 at 9:23 AM
أقسم بالله إني قشعرت لما خلصت قراءة!
I came expecting to read something bwt 30`s music era!
but … but.. [ insert emotions here] is what I got
happy b-day Nada,
thx 4 making me feel old! I`m NOT gonna write a blog as a reply (yes I thought bwt it while reading)
I`m just gonna refer to this in + 8 months and … SEE
—-
best read in 2 weeks! Honest.
February 9, 2012 at 3:15 PM
Thanks Haitham… You are by all means my #1 (and only for that matter) fan on this blog
February 14, 2012 at 9:10 PM
maz3tynii , well said …Happppppppppppy birthday
February 15, 2012 at 1:20 PM
Thank you Amal… wa a2lan biki sadeeqa lil barnamij!
December 31, 2012 at 12:06 AM
Well said Nadoosh!
A very old person once told me that even when you grow old, the inside of you feels exactly the same, she told me she only feels old when she looks herself in the mirror. I was in my twenties at that time, and I had that side mocking smile on my face, like, yeah, you don’t feel all those wrinkles, your weak legs and your thinning hair?!
I never understood how that feels until I hit my thirties, the amazing thing is that at 35 I still feel like the same crazy girl who went to college and still feel like dancing to the same tunes, but when I face people in their 20′s it hits me, I’m 10 years older than they are, when I used to be their age I used to feel confused when to start calling a woman “Auntie”!
I guess it is exactly how you described it “it just slowly creeps on you”
December 31, 2012 at 5:01 PM
You’re right, it’s those moments I thought I was being respectful when calling an “older” woman in her 30s or 40s auntie! Now I hate myself for doing so! But isn’t that the natural progression of life?
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March 27, 2012 at 4:46 PM